Ayunithebest.......

its pretty hard after what happened yesterday. not only i failed my FTT, ace was mad because i did something that im not supposed to do. it was out of concern but i know what i did wrong. i could have kept it but i told him so. wasnt trying to hide. i hate it when he is mad and i could feel it. oh my. how could i be so silly. i was super blunt and thoughtless. stupid me. i realised my mistake. he forgave me in the end but i couldnt help it but wake up in a daze today. as if it was all a bad dream.

im actually still disheartened. very. as if i lost someone who died. still feel like tearing not because of telling but because, i lost his trust. somesort. i feel super super bad. i dont expect him to trust me anymore. i dont mind him boycotting me or so even though i do mind. but,t i keep blamin myself on how not a bestie i am. it seems like dejavu like as thou' it happened before. it was with dewi last time and now, its him.whats done is done. im tired of going through emotional rides. its getting hectic.

i hope tomorrow will be better. just like it has always been.

i hope.